


What If It's You?

by LisaDuncansTwin



Series: Songs of My Heart [2]
Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Brooding, M/M, Sappy, Songfic, Written in 1998
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:04:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaDuncansTwin/pseuds/LisaDuncansTwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In typical Scottish style, Duncan is brooding over his feelings for a certain Old Man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If It's You?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 1998, I think this is my third Highlander fic, so it's still very immature. I still like specific things about it. Betaed in 1998 by Diana, left unaltered. This story takes place between “Valkyrie” and “Comes a Horseman”.

Duncan slammed the book closed. He couldn’t concentrate. He got up from the couch and went to the bookshelves. Replacing the history book, he tried to find something else to read. It was no use. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. His mind was filled with thoughts of Methos. He had spent most of this week with the Ancient Immortal, and it was getting hard to hide his deepening feelings for him. Methos had probably already figured out that Duncan was attracted to him. What Methos didn’t know, couldn’t know, was that Duncan was falling in love with him. _Falling hell. I think I’ve been in love with him since he left town with Alexa. At least that’s when I realized it._ That’s probably why he hadn’t seen him in days. Two to be exact. Forty-eight hours. He wondered for the thousandth time if Methos had left town. It had hurt to realize, too late, that he was in love with Methos. 

When Methos had come to him babbling about Alexa, Duncan had been too preoccupied with his own problems and had not really paid attention to what he was saying. Duncan thought it was just a passing fancy and that it would be over soon. Little did he realize how prophetic his thought would be. He had been shocked and surprised when Methos had told him that he was leaving to travel with Alexa. He wanted to say something about his feelings, but then Methos told him that Alexa was dying. Dying. She was barely a kid. She had never had the chance to even really live. He had pushed his feelings for Methos aside and let the man leave with the fragile, mortal young woman. He was sad for Methos. It was hard enough to love a mortal, but to love one who was terminally ill was pure torture. Methos would need him after Alexa died, and Duncan would be his friend and his strength. It had turned out that Methos had been Duncan’s friend and strength first. 

When the Dark Quickening had fallen on Duncan, Methos had been the one to help. Methos had led him to the light again. He owed Methos his sanity. Not long later Duncan had been the one to help Methos. He had been with Methos when Alexa was laid to rest and had helped him to hold on to her memory. Afterwards their friendship had deepened. Duncan held his feelings close to his heart and never let on that he was in love with the older immortal. Methos had continued to drop by occasionally and play havoc with Duncan’s feelings. 

This week was a perfect example. They had been to Joe’s and various other bars. They had been to an art exhibit, which Methos had criticized loudly. They had been buds, pals; they had been everything but what Duncan really wanted them to be…lovers. He just didn’t know how to bring the subject up to Methos. He didn’t want to lose Methos’ friendship, and that was what he was afraid would happen. He was constantly thinking about the situation. It had affected his whole life. He couldn’t eat or sleep for thinking about Methos. 

Thinking that some music might help, Duncan walked over to his CD collection and tried to find something soothing. He was shuffling his CD’s around when he found one that was unfamiliar to him. No, that wasn’t quite true, he just hadn’t seen it in a while. It was different from all of the other music he listened to; it was a country CD by Reba McEntire. He picked it up and held it loosely in his hands. He turned it over absently and thought about the reason he had bought it in the first place. 

**_***FLASHBACK - Seacouver 1995***_ **

It was the day that Methos had left town with Alexa. After they’d left, Duncan had wandered into the bar to talk with Joe and have a beer. He couldn’t explain what he was feeling. Joe was the one who knew what was wrong. Duncan had a broken heart. He was in love with Methos but couldn’t see it. Duncan had sat, staring at his drink until he realized that Joe was right. Why hadn’t he seen it? How had Joe? But then he realized that watching was Joe’s job; it was part of his job to observe. Duncan was a little embarrassed and wondered what else Joe had noticed over the years. Oh God, he was in love with Methos. 

It was new to him, having feelings like this for a man. Sure, he’d had sexual relationships with men, but he had never fallen in love with one. The closest thing to loving another man was the relationship he’d shared with Darius. Darius may have been a priest, but he was also a man and had the needs of a normal man. They had been lovers on occasion, but they were always friends first. 

Joe had refilled Duncan’s glass numerous times that night. He wasn’t drunk, but he wasn’t feeling any pain either. Joe had a new band that weekend and had asked him to stick around for a while and listen to them. Duncan hadn’t wanted to, but he agreed nonetheless. When the band started playing their first song, Duncan noticed that they had a country sound. He had always wondered about Joe’s eclectic musical tastes. He had been staring into his drink when he noticed the words drifting into his conscious. 

_I’ve got something to tell you that I just can’t say_  
 _So I’m writing it down in case maybe someday_  
 _Our lives take a turn down a road_  
 _We can’t see right now_  
 _I know you’re happy and I’m happy for you_  
 _But since you found each other_  
 _I’ve been so confused_  
 _Cause I believe there’s one soul on this earth_  
 _That was meant for mine_  
 _I was sent here to find_

_What if it’s you_  
 _What if our hearts were meant to be one_  
 _What’ll I do_  
 _Knowing that I’ll never love anyone_  
 _As much as I do love you_  
 _What if it’s true_  
 _What if it’s you_

_If destiny called and I missed my cue_  
 _Do I get one more chance_  
 _Oh how I wish I knew_  
 _I’ll never again put my heart in the hands of fate_  
 _If it’s too late_

_What if it’s you_  
 _What if our hearts were meant to be one_  
 _What’ll I do_  
 _Knowing that I’ll never love anyone_  
 _As much as I do love you_  
 _What if it’s true_  
 _What if it’s you_

_If I ever hold you I’ll never let go_  
 _But if I never do how will I know_

_What if it’s you_  
 _What if our hearts were meant to be one_  
 _What’ll I do_  
 _Knowing that I’ll never love anyone_  
 _As much as I do love you_  
 _What if it’s true_  
 _What if it’s you_

_What’ll I do_  
 _What if it’s true_  
 _What if it’s you_

Duncan had reached for his drink, but when he noticed that his hand was shaking, he had grabbed his coat and fled the bar. The lyrics of the song were still echoing in his mind. 

**_***PRESENT DAY***_ **

Duncan slipped the CD into the player and pressed the “on” button. The room filled with a gentle voice reminding him of his actions years ago. The song had haunted him for days before he called Joe and asked him where he could find it. Joe had obligingly told him and Duncan had rushed out and bought it. He had set the CD player on repeat and listened to the song continuously for an hour before he could bring himself to act. He had gone to his desk and written a letter to Methos, a letter he would never send. He spilled his emotions and feelings on the paper, as well as a few tears. He hoped that one day he would be able to share the letter and his love with the Ancient Immortal. When he had finished the letter, he sealed it in an envelope and put it into a book of Scottish poetry. 

Duncan walked over to the bookshelf and was about to reach for the book when he felt the presence of another Immortal. It was probably Methos, but he picked up his katana from near the bed anyway. He walked to the door and swung it open. 

Methos stood there practically shivering. Duncan opened the door further to let Methos in. Methos went directly to the couch but didn’t sprawl out as usual. He sat straight up and looked like he wanted to talk. Duncan returned the katana to its resting place. He poured himself a glass of Glenmorangie, took his drink and sat down in the chair across from Methos. He slowly sipped his drink and waited for Methos to speak. He noticed Methos looking around and wondered what the old man was thinking. Methos sighed heavily and began.

“We need to talk, Mac.”

Duncan took a long sip of his Glenmorangie and leaned his head back. To be thinking about Methos and then suddenly have him appear was disconcerting. It was hard to make small talk when all he wanted to do was sweep Methos off his feet and carry him to bed.

“Yes, we do,” Duncan replied softly.

_What if it’s you._


End file.
